| Jerome's official biography |
| Jerome has always been a rather social gnome. He grew up in the forests of what is now known as Gnoemeborough, Scotland where he was the fourth of eight children. After succesfully finishing his basic education, he was tutored at home by his father Jerome Angus the second, he enlisted in the Gnome's Agricultural Guild where he quickly became a sucessfull Wheelbarrelist. Many years passed until, somewhere in the 1920's, Jerome and his fellow barrelists were snatched from their land by a Scottish human. The man, David McSnatchem, was a slavetrader. He made a living by trading labourgnomes and housekeeping squirrels. Nineteen days in a very small box later Jerome found himself awaking in a small cell, a wheelbarrel glued to his tiny hands. He was now a slave ornament in the garden of Gilbert De Lampadaire, retired grade school teacher and amateur landscape artist. Enslaved and many miles away from home, Jerome barreled day after day for years upon years. He kept on dreaming of freedom, never allowing his spirit to break. |
Gilbert De Lampadaire's Gnomecamp
|
One night in 1932 he knew his day of freedom was finally upon him when an unexplained explosion blew his jailor's gnomecamp to oblivion. The labourgnomes were free at last! When it became obvious that Stephen, his housekeeping squirrel friend, did not survive the explosion Jerome ran away. He ran for as far as his little feet would bring him. Until he fell down of exhaustion. And then he ran some more... |
| He ran until he reached the cliffs of Dover. It was in Dover that he met Jayjay. Jayjay, or Jonathan Livingston as he was born, was a seagull that had quite some connections on both sides of the North Sea. Jayjay arranged for Jerome to embark as a sailor third class on the SS Liberty. A cruiser operated by the Secret Navy of the Gnome Liberation's Army -SNGLA- (wich later paired with the Gnome Front for the Liberation of Small Slaves -GFLSS- to become the Gnome Liberation Front or GLF). He quite liked the life at sea were it not for his tendency to get very, very sick by even hearing the waves break upon the hull of the ship. Still, he served loyaly for seventeen years and liberated hundreds of gnomes worldwide. |
| Even as they set free a lot of their brothers and sisters during those naval years, Jerome knew there must have been a better way. He had seen Man's war and the cruelty that comes with it. He did not want anybody to suffer for gnomes to be free. No gnome, no man, no animal. Nobody! As he adjusted to the life of a free land-dwelling gnome, Jerome observed Man from a distance. He hiked around Europe, sometimes joined by other gnomes but mostly on his own. He observed and he learned. He learned that force was indeed not the way. Barely a last resort, maybe... For situations like these, where there was need for a common ground, for compromise, Man created politics... But how could he, an insignificant gnome, a fugitive, use politics to realise his dream? He couldn't! Man's systems were corrupt and discriminating gnomes in any way they could. The media were getting a hold on how people were thinking. They became a force that politicians had to deal with to get their messages trough to the general public. |
| So Jerome used the media as a spokesperson for gnome liberation. Al least he tried to use them. Back in those days, the mid-50's, the media only covered what was important to them. They could not care less about what their readers, listeners or viewers wanted. They saw it as their mission to educate the masses about what they deemed important. And gnome liberation was not. Editor after editor turned down Jerome's suggestions and comments. Network by network the little man started to lose the hope that his message would once be heard. And then, out of nowhere, the Sixties arrived with its idols and brand-new popculture. |
| On april 29th of 1961 Jerome was having a drink at the Top Ten Club in Hamburg. This had been his routine since he arrived in Germany the prior year. On stage was a young British band. Previously known as the Black Jacks and the Quarry Men, they did now call themselves The Beatles (with all the drinks he had that night it could have been just 'Beatles', Jerome interrupts). |
They called themselves "Beatles"...
|
| After the gig the band members were invited over to the cornertable (wich was, for years now, reserved as 'gnome-only'). They appeared well aware of the discrimination and enslavement of gnomes. The six of them (five Beatles and one gnome, imagine that) had quite a good night of drunken arguements and wild planning. With the promise that he could always count on them to create gnome-awareness the musicians left Jerome, early that morning. |
| Years passed and Jerome became more and more influential with musicians and artists. He was a welcome guest at their decadent parties and their inspired happenings. He was the one suggesting an unknown actor called Sean Connery to Cubby Broccoli to take on the role of Ian Fleming's James Bond. He was there for Jackie after the assasination of JFK. Jerome was everywhere important and creative people gathered, defending his cause: equal rights for gnomes. In the late sixties he found the time was right for the first mega-event the world had ever seen. He brouhgt together the cream of the 60's musical artists for a true gnomefest. The Woodstick Festival was born. As the planning evolved the name was changed to Woodstock Festival (due to a print error, of all reasons). The emphasis lay on the music and the atmosphere of Love and Peace instead of gnome rights but the idea was a good one. He would have a stage he could use to inspire hundreds, maybe thousands, of people. |
Thousands attended Jerome's festival
|
At this festival (wich made no money for his cause, unfortunately) Jerome met Ravi Shankar. In doubt about the long trip Jerome politely refused. It wasn't until Ravi mentioned that his wife made one hell of a curry that Jerome took him up on his offer. Nothing more tempting for a gnome than a good curry, you know... So Jerome travelled to Asia for the first time in his life. He loved India! He loved its landscapes, its gnomes and its people. And he loved Mrs. Shankar's curry! |
| He loved it so much that he made up his mind about staying in India and spreading his message from there. One good day in 1970 Ravi was expecting a visitor from England. |
|
| |
| To Jerome's surprise the guy turned out to be one of the young musicians he met in Hamburg nearly a decade before. John Lennon was a close friend of Ravi and every once in a while he flew over, secretly, just to be away from it all. And for the curry, Jerome suspected. John had heard that Jerome was now the resident gnome of the Shankar house and was curious about how he was doing with his crusade. It didn't take long before they all sat down, jamming together. Ravi practicing magic on his sitar, John playing a guitar that looked like it was at least a hundred years old... While they came up with the most wonderful melodies Jerome provided the words. They even composed a catchy little tune called 'Power to The Gnomes'. Years later Jerome learned that John released it on his own, changing Jerome's words to 'Power to The People', under the infuence of his new Asian bride Yoko. As a fugitive, Jerome could not sue him for it but he swore he would never talk to either one of the Lennons ever again! |
| While he lived in India, Jerome was pardonned unanimously by the members of the United Nations, recognising his fight for the greater good of gnomekind. Six months later gnome labour was officially condemned in a resolution by those same nations. Even as it was now illegal to force gnomes to do anything against their will, most countries tolerated this practices as long as those crimes did not involve torture. |
Rest in peace, Jimmy. We'll miss you!
|
On july 3rd of 1971 Jerome was one of the first to learn of the death of rock legend Jim Morrison. Since Jimmy and Jerome had been close friends he felt compelled to attend the memorial service and pay his respects to Jimmy and his family. He left India that same day.. No longer a fugitive Jerome could now travel first class. Still Parcel (gnomes are to this day obliged to travel Cargo) but first class nevertheless. After the service Jerome had a long talk with the remaining Doors. |
| Refusing to follow in Jimmy's footsteps as lead singer (or Front Door as it was called by their manager) was not easy for the little man. But he did it anyway. He didn't know where his destiny was leading him but it certainly wasn't towards Doorshood. He wanted to travel and seek a land where Gnome and Man could peacefully live in harmony with nature. A corny but noble idea, he thought. |
| His first trip would be to his birthground in Scotland. It would be the first time since his escape from gnomecamp half a lifetime ago. When he looked up some of his old navy buddies (he didn't have much money left after his first class flight from India so why not sail for free?) he discovered that the concept of a Gnome Navy had long been abolished. The labourgnomes they freed, thousands of them, had since used their craftsmanship and expertise to dig a very long tunnel from the British side of the channel all the way to France's Calais. What Napoleon couldn't his people had realised. It took them twenty-five years of digging but they did it! And without Man's help! One of the greatest achievements in Gnome History to date. It did turn out to be a very long walk but eventually he reached the shores where he once boarded a ship that would change his life forever. |
| It didn't feel as he thought it would feel. He didn't feel like he was coming home. It hadn't been home for that long but neither were all the other places he'd lived. 'Do I even have a home?' Jerome wondered. The answer came quickly as he entered the forests where he once got lost, playing hide and seek with his brother. He was confused that all of a sudden he remembered things he thought long forgotten. It didn't take long before he was spotted. A hidden reconaissancegnome saw him as he passed the split oak that marked where Gnoemeborough touched the World of Man. Word was passed quickly and by the time he reached the actual village every one of the 2744 villagers had gathered to give him a hero's welcome. Now there was no more doubt: he was, finally, home! |
| For a while Jerome enjoyed being a free wheelbarrelist but deep down he knew he couldn't stay in his home town. Not while he knew there was a whole world out there for him to explore. His stories took the other gnomes away from their village but for him they felt more like an entrapment. He had been gone for too long. Every once in a while he heard about what happened out there. Gnomes convinced Man that a channel tunnel would be an exciting project for the future. Years of hard lobbying (not in the least with the Princess of Wales, a strong supporter of the gnomecause) convinced the French to work with the British and vice versa. German gnomes broke down some very big wall. Hundreds of stories, mostly unkown by Man, convinced Jerome that his future would not be as a wheelbarrelist. |
| One good morning, Jerome was having a coffee on his patio, the sound of a thousand thunders broke trough the leaves of the woods that surrounded the village. Half a second later the ground trembled fiercely. A tree fell down, inches away from where he sat. 'Man's invading our town!' somebody shouted trough the rumbling noise of bulldozers. |
Gnoemeborough in ruins...
|
| Man's constant need to expand his world had, once again, reached the gnomeworld. Evacuation mechanisms that were built decades ago now proved their value as the gnomes escaped trough numerous tunnels while their village was anihilated by the ignorance of a species that just happened to be larger than them. |
| After a head count the Gnoemeborough Council set in motion a procedure they never tought they would need. They declared the town of Gnoemeborough non-existent. This seemed a futile declaration since the town was flattened by bulldozers not so long as half a day ago, but the Intercultural Gnome Code (IGC) was very strict about this. No gnome could ever renounce his citizenship unless he belonged to a town (gnomes never did believe in countries because they were just too damn big to govern) that no longer existed. They were no longer Gnoemeborough gnomes. They were just... well,just gnomes basically.. |
| Along with some other gnomes that had travelled Jerome met with the ex-Council that night. The gnomes of the former town of Gnoemeborough would seek asylum in other gnome communities until they found a new land where they could all start a new life. Three of the gnomes that were present that night took on the mission to find that land. Not just for their people but for all gnomekind they would travel the globe for a hundred years. Then they would return with their findings and appear before the Intercultural Gnome Council (conveniently located in the basement of Disneyland Paris, a country run by Mouse, not Man.). |
| And so begins the quest of Jerome... |
|
